A (sober!) recap

I did something last week that I probably shouldn't have done sober (but I haven't had a drink in months and I'm not about to start). I read this blog from start to finish. And I've come to a few conclusions about my past year as a single parent.

• Most of my frustration comes from outside influences, such as work, and the Kid's father's lack of responsibility and financial support.


• My job at the airport was really, really horrible. Avoid working for the government at all costs.


• It's essential to have backup. I don't know what I would have done when the Kid & I got sick, if my parents weren't there to help. And sometimes, I just really, really need a day off.


• I should have been taking better care of myself, but I'm glad I know better now. Eight hours of sleep, regular exercise, and healthy, whole foods are absolutely essential for anyone who wants to be the ideal Them. If you don't get at least the minimum (which are the things I just listed), you can go through your life like a frikkin' zombie. I have emptied my house of processed foods and frankenmeats.
  

I also realize that I've reached my max load of outside interference. The thing about single parenting with a toddler is that you're still at that age of their childhood where they require routine and sameness. My kid needs to go to bed with a specific amount of blankets, toys, and water every night, according to the agreement as detailed in her backstage rider. Should I stray from the agreement, screaming and crying will commence, and my eye will twitch.

There are days that I just need to switch off the phone, and not answer any email. Since I hate all my neighbors, all my curtains are usually closed, until I am ready to deal with their music/screaming/7am construction. I kept the Kid home with me one day last week, because I had spent the previous evening stuck in traffic on the turnpike for three hours, and worked very late to make up for the lost time. I decided to sleep in the next morning, and avoid the turnpike altogether. I realize that the daily drive to her daycare is not a slow drive in the country, and I now listen to classical music to try and keep my blood pressure down. I've also gotten better at saying "no" to preserve my tranquility.

I am not great at returning phone calls, but I now understand that this is so I can stay focused on providing a safe, healthy, and relaxed environment for my kid, and so I can spend more time taking care of myself. Every phone call I avoid could be a half-hour walk for myself, and every two phone calls are an hour at the gym. I am not happy that I've isolated myself, but I don't know how else to keep my sanity. I have one friend in the area with a kid the same age, and we rarely get together. The Kid gets enough socialization during the week at daycare, and weekends are mommy time. Is that healthy? I don't know.

I feel better now than I have in years.

That photo isn't me, by the way. It's my friend Zoe, who has the healthiest body and spirit I've ever seen!

Live and learn.... :)