With Liberty and Liquid Soap for All

This evening, my child and I were trapped in a clusterfuck of a traffic jam. For 2 1/2 hours.

Luckily, three-year olds are very entertaining, and no one had to pee or had taken any laxatives.

She knows "I Know an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly" is a long song. Unfortunately, she can't remember anything past the first verse, so I listened to "I know an old lady who swallowed a fly, I don't know why she swallowed the fly - perhaps she'll die" repeated approximately twenty-five times in a row.

And for her next trick, ladies and gentlemen, my child recited The Pledge of Allegiance. I had no idea she knew the Pledge. I was quite impressed with her diction, and amazed (and feeling slightly hoodwinked) that she got past the first line, since the old lady kept eating that fly again and again.

However, there was something a little funny with the last line. I asked her to say the Pledge again. She said it again, perfectly, but with that funny last line again.

With my hand over my mouth to muffle my guffaws, I called Kara and quietly held the cell phone over my shoulder. The child repeated the Pledge exactly as she heard it every day. When Kara realized what she was saying, she too burst out laughing.

"Do they say that before they go eat lunch?" she asked.

Apparently, I said.

Here 'tis:

I pledge allegiance to the flag
Of the United Stace of Amurika
And to the apublic for which it stands
One nation, under God, innabisible
With Liberty and Justice for all.
Go wash your hands.