Next week, we're Swedish

It's not that I'm not proud of being half-Danish.

I'm not even half-Danish. I just lived there and rubbed their scent on me, and they just assume I'm one of them -- much in the same way the boyfriend is convinced he's half-Brazilian. (He isn't. But it makes him happy.)

We both think we're black. Which is odd. But makes us perfectly matched, don'tcha think? He's the only Dane I know that can smoothly translate "You feelin' me?" into Danish and pull it off nicely. He thinks he's the Danish-Brazilian answer to Timbaland.

But I digress.

Ikea is finally opening in south Florida next weekend. People can start lining up on Monday, and tents and lawn chairs are permitted.