Mexican, but white and uptight.

My girlfriend was supposed to meet me at the park today, but called to say she'd be an hour or two late. Like I could last for two hours at the park with a two year old, waiting for her. This isn't even one of my moronic friends. It's one of the good ones.

But she and her husband are always on Latin time, and it makes me nuts. When we make plans, they always get waylaid by one of them or one of their family members. I organized her baby shower, and almost had to be restrained when her guests showed up two hours late, with the food they were supposed to be preparing, or when her brother, who was manning the grill, decided he couldn't cook without cedar chips and sent her, the pregnant guest of honor, to Home Depot for an hour and a half. With her guests standing around. And she went.

Me, I organize my day around my commitments. Because that's how it's done. I prepared healthy and varied snacks, woke my kid up early from her nap, and got in the car. La, la, la, look at me, I'm organized.

If anyone can make me feel even more white and uptight, it's my Mexican grandmother. I am uber-organized in her vicinity. I have clipboards and lists and pie charts. Her idea of planning a family vacation is "Get in the car".

The other day, she tells me that she told my younger cousin that if he did well in school, she would "take him to Miami". A) I don't live in Miami. B) When were you going to tell me.

I'm not casual about houseguests. I would love to think of myself as laid back, but I'm not. I need coordinated towels, neutral shampoo (not too fruity, not too generic), fresh fruit, stacks of pressed linens, 3,000 pillows, and a fully stocked freezer. I used to run a boutique hotel. My family could care less about this crap. I seem to be missing that gene.

I wish it didn't bother me that my girlfriend can't show up on time, but it does. It makes me want to say no when she calls next week, but then I think that perhaps my Burberry headband is a little too tight.

Ay.