Halloween is QUACKTACULOUS!

Today we experienced The Sugar High.

The first was mine, at 8:45am. PMS hit me like a tsunami and I found myself rifling through a plastic jack-o-lantern, cramming Tootsie Rolls into my mouth, trying to get to the cocoa that was listed as the seventh ingredient, right after 6 different forms of sugar.

What?? Seventh ingredient just wasn't cutting it. I felt like a junkie desperately trying to get to the heroin essence in some overly-cut street smack. And of course, my grubby coworkers ate all my Reese's peanut butter cups the day before. Bastards.

Luckily, another division was holding a bake sale to benefit diabetes research.

That's right, I said a bake sale to benefit diabetes research.

Being a team player, I truly did my best to get diabetes. Ten minutes later I sat in a corner of the lobby with a spoon, a cotton ball, and a chocolate cookie.

But enough about me.

This morning, I tried to get the Kid into her Halloween costume so I could take some beautiful photos, and spend the rest of my day at work, lackadaisically playing with Clip Art and jpegs. The Kid decided she would prefer to throw herself on the ground and have a hissy fit until it was time to go.

This afternoon, I spent the ride from daycare to my parents' trying to convince her that if she agreed to put on the costume and yell "TRICK OR TREAT!", people would give her candy. Oooh, candy. She agreed, but further negotiated that she would receive afore-mentioned candy for each exremity placed in said costume. By the time we hit the elevator, she was in a duck suit, running in circles and yelling "CANDY! CANDY!".

Hoo, boy.

My dad also thought it would be fun to see how much candy she could fit in her mouth. "Lots" is the answer. My daughter had candy for dinner, and two pieces of broccoli.

I spent the bulk of my day at work moaning about how my stomach hurt from eating too much candy, talking to TGLETSITSAFM about my raging PMS, and mouthing the words "Olive juice" at him. That never gets old.

"I said 'OLIVE JUICE', dildo, not 'I LOVE YOU'! HA HA!"

The boss said something today about "some people being moved around for efficiency reasons". I hugged TGLETSITCAFM goodbye and started to think of new possible acronyms for him. The Guy Lucky Enough to Sit in the Cubicle Across from Me and I are going to be the first people that Hitler splits up. I'm going to wind up either sitting next to the Office Manager, or the guy who creates all the signs for the airport who isn't a native English speaker. Or both. And by 'native', I mean 'proficient'. And by 'Office Manager'... well, never mind.

Olive juice.