Just for macho, macho men

Today, The Guy Lucky Enough to Sit in the Cubicle Across from Me and I discussed the proper reaction one can have when a coworker shows up for work on a Monday morning with freshly colored hair.

And the coworker is a man in his 50's, who very closely resembles Mr. Noodle's brother, Mr. Noodle.

My point was, it's not a female coworker showing up with some cute highlights, to which the proper response would be "Hey, your hair looks cute!".

I said, "What are you supposed to say? I just looked away quickly and tried not to laugh."

TGLETSITCAFM agreed and said, "My only thought was... shoepolish".

Me: "And I'm wondering, 'Is my mascara still in my purse?'"

TGLETSITCAFM: "Here's my leg. Pull it."

Another coworker sensitively bellowed from across the building, "You'd better hope it doesn't rain, is all I'm saying!".

During the last hurricane (a.k.a "The Spritzer") this particular sensitive coworker showed up hanging over my cubie wall in full Construction gear, with a safety orange reflective vest, a hard hat, and a giant manly flashlight, in need of some car keys before heading out to a job site. I took one long look up and burst into:

"AH - SAID....."

(clapping furiously)

"YOUNG MAN! PICK YOURSELF OFF THE GROUND!
AH - SAID YOUNG MAN! 'CAUSE YOU'RE IN A NEW TOWN!
THERE'S NO NEED! TO! BE! UNHAPPY!
DONK, DONK, DONK, DONK..
IT'S FUN TO STAY AT THE
YMCA!
IT'S FUN TO STAY AT THE
YMC-A-HAY..."

to which he flipped me the bird.

(Apparently, pulling on your glad rags and getting down with your gay self is only funny if hair dye is involved.)

Later, I casually asked TGLETSITCAFM, who had been dragging all day, if he was looking forward to going home, putting on a little Nick Lachey, and relaxing.

"AM I LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING HOME AND PUTTING ON A NEGLIGEE??!" he sputtered.

His chair is approximately ten feet from mine.

"NICK LA-CHEY, GRANDMA! ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO - oh, never mind!"

TGLETSITCAFM (laughing): "My answer is D, All of the Above".

So, to the best of my knowledge, he went home to listen to Nick Lachey in a negligee.

I'm ok with that. So is the burly woman with the mullet that I almost ran over on my way into my complex this evening, I would venture to guess. She was walking her dog in the middle of the road. In her boxers.

Why am I single, you ask?

Keep wondering.